this can't be...

To understand me I’d have to prescribe you a case of the crazies…
For “a diamond in the ruff” is an understatement…
Constantly compounded with likenesses of a perpendicular nature…
But benefits are miniscule because our paths are cross-less
How could you comprehend what I’ve been thru?
Where is your empathy for me?
Judgment passed prematurely and ultimately branded a bitch…
This can’t be life….

And yet to love me you’d need spectacles to see thru the bull shit.
With shovel handy….prepare to dig, as treasures unheard of lie just beneath the layers of the outer core…
and inner coating, and sometimes another layer just beneath that..…
BUT their-in lies the kindest of hearts…
Misidentified as being defied by an exterior of conceit.
Apparently I’ve proclaimed to be the baddest bitch you’ll ever meet..
Tho these words I’d never speak….
So from a realistic perspective…
It’s merely protection from the deception of my true self’s reflection…
Made in HIS image but constantly seeing my illustration as a shattered representation..
This can’t be love…

If it was there’d be no way I could survive….and yet I know I’d still try.
Cuz thru my eyes a life loveless just ain’t worth livin…
I’d just be livin to die…
And contrary to popular belief I’m a love machine…
Wiped down and polished clean cuz my purpose is perfect….
And believe it or not, I ain’t a fighter….
More like a wrong righter…
An all nighter if that’s what it takes to get thru to you…
Cuz constant misconstruction easily leads to a decreased sense of self..
Then everyday becomes a struggle to hold on to what we’ve got
This can’t be us…

So to the universe I proclaim, “Give Me A Sign!”…
Confirm the map you’ve carved in my mind is right…
Show me that I won’t get left if I stay true to u by being true to me…
Let me see that I’m ordained to procure this object personified…
Give me some indication that all my suffering hasn’t been in vain…
Identical cries ring out and yet the tear drops falling are never the same…
Grant me just a glimpse at my final destination!
Am I still me?
Have I lost myself in all the hype?
Did I become consumed with lies and alibis?
Hope’s fingers are crossed, wishing that I never forget to learn from the lows and thrive on the highs…
And I realize thru closed eyes as I watch this epiphany arise..
That my fate may never be fulfilled cuz my focus never changes….
Mind set of a hustler or a hopeless cause…my mentality has remained the same..
There’s gotta be more ….