I wish there was a name for the precise moment (usually after a break up) that you realize that everything in your life is about to drastically change. Most times it's accompanied by a broken heart. Changes range from the simplest thing like the ceasing of the brief random texts throughout the day letting you know that you are on the mind of someone special, to sharing inside jokes, to realizing that from hereon out you'll be having to cook and eat alone (i mean if that was your thing)....hell you might have to start from scratch and do everything alone.
Imagine being involved in a beautiful union with someone in which you adore; you two are so in sync that you practically have your own language. I was recently slapped in the face with this realization by way of the latter. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and I found myself talking to them with some of the vernacular that a previous beau and I had used. Now, knowing how unique he is I can't describe how ecstatic I was when I actually realized "I kinda get him!" and "If someone were to read these texts they wouldn't have any idea what we were talking about!" Being an individual so often misunderstood I felt this was a major accomplishment and was none the less proud. But I realized just how personal it actually was when I was asked "what the hell are you talking about?" like I was speaking with clicks, buzzes and key tones as if I was an alien from outer space.
This was one of the first moments that hit hard. I had gotten so used to sharing a life with this person that everything I tried to take from the relationship and incorporate into my everyday life had everyone else looking at me like I was crazy. I admit; this more than likely means that we were somewhat living in our own world. Sadly, a lot that I have read about couples who do this has been bad. Of course from being on the inside, I don't see it that way. All the things that people don't get are the precise things that made our relationship unique; the same way that the things I didn't initially get about him are the things that made him unique and grew to be the things I love about him.
Smiles still and forever will creep across my face any time my thoughts venture off and bring back random memories of the joy that was brought to me from day one to fin. I'm told that the memories we made can't be taken from me and I should be happy about those, but I can help thinking about the memories we were supposed to make...
Imagine being involved in a beautiful union with someone in which you adore; you two are so in sync that you practically have your own language. I was recently slapped in the face with this realization by way of the latter. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and I found myself talking to them with some of the vernacular that a previous beau and I had used. Now, knowing how unique he is I can't describe how ecstatic I was when I actually realized "I kinda get him!" and "If someone were to read these texts they wouldn't have any idea what we were talking about!" Being an individual so often misunderstood I felt this was a major accomplishment and was none the less proud. But I realized just how personal it actually was when I was asked "what the hell are you talking about?" like I was speaking with clicks, buzzes and key tones as if I was an alien from outer space.
This was one of the first moments that hit hard. I had gotten so used to sharing a life with this person that everything I tried to take from the relationship and incorporate into my everyday life had everyone else looking at me like I was crazy. I admit; this more than likely means that we were somewhat living in our own world. Sadly, a lot that I have read about couples who do this has been bad. Of course from being on the inside, I don't see it that way. All the things that people don't get are the precise things that made our relationship unique; the same way that the things I didn't initially get about him are the things that made him unique and grew to be the things I love about him.
Smiles still and forever will creep across my face any time my thoughts venture off and bring back random memories of the joy that was brought to me from day one to fin. I'm told that the memories we made can't be taken from me and I should be happy about those, but I can help thinking about the memories we were supposed to make...
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